Lisette Lahana, LCSW
Transgender and Non Binary People are Finding that Being on Social Media Platforms and Reading Comments Can Be Upsetting and Threatening.
Coping with negativity online for transgender and non binary people, in our current political environment, is a challenge. How TERFs (trans-exclusionary radical feminists) and trolls talk about trans and non binary people, especially when they think they are anonymous, can be disturbing.
Navigating online spaces can be particularly challenging for gender diverse individuals, especially when confronted with hostile or ignorant comments. It's crucial to establish firm boundaries around how you engage with negative posts and comments. These are boundaries you establish with yourself around how you will, or will not, respond. While it may be tempting to argue or educate, this can end up being emotionally draining and unproductive. Instead, focus on cultivating a supportive online environment. Seek out moderated forums and social media groups that prioritize the well-being of gender diverse members. These spaces can provide a much-needed refuge and a sense of community. When encountering negativity on platforms like Reddit, make use of built-in tools such as blocking users, filtering keywords, and reporting abusive behavior.
It is important to remember that your mental health should take precedence over engaging with trolls or detractors. It can also be helpful to balance time spent in online discussions with offline activities and in-person connections. This can mean turning off your phone and taking a walk in nature or having a tech-free lunch with a supportive friend.
How you manage your social media exposure can be challenging but is crucial for your mental health. Start by acknowledging the addictive nature of the platforms and how they're designed to keep you engaged, even with distressing content. Set clear boundaries for your social media use, like having designated times for checking your accounts or use app-blocking tools. Practice mindfulness when scrolling – pause to ask yourself how the content makes you feel and if it's benefiting you. Check-in with your body. Does a particular poster make you feel tense, worried or ashamed? Do you find yourself more anxious after reading a particular person's feed? These are the clues to follow when deciding what to expose yourself to.
When you do use social media, actively curate your feed by unfollowing accounts that consistently make you feel bad and seeking out positive, uplifting content instead. You can slowly replace social media time with other activities that bring joy or relaxation, like reading, exercising, or connecting with friends in person. Consider a "digital detox" period to reset your habits. That can be anywhere between a few hours to a more significant weekend or month of a digital detox. Putting yourself in a digital "time-out" doesn't have to include time you need to be on the computer for work or to organize your personal life. You may decide instead to do a "social media detox" where you delete all social media aps and avoid those sites for a particular amount of time. This is certainly difficult to do, as it is tempting to go to your favorite social media sites and it only takes a second to get there. Try to remind yourself "this is for my health" and direct yourself away from social media and onto sites that feel positive to you. Or better yet, turn away from your computer or phone and spend time with friends, loved ones, pets, favorite art, hobbies or music.
Remember, it's okay to step away from platforms that harm your mental health. Your well-being is more important than staying constantly connected or informed about every negative development. By curating a more positive online experience, you can protect your emotional energy and find affirmation in supportive spaces.
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